| I'm on my way... |
[Feb. 20th, 2009|01:02 am] |
| [ | Feeling... |
| |  accomplished | ] |
| [ | The music in my mind... |
| | Kansas - Carry On Wayward Son | ] |
Carry On Wayward Son
This afternoon, it was my turn to report for the Objective Personality Tests Case Conference. In case you're wondering what that is, it's basically me presenting my Psych Report on my client while the rest of the class would ask questions and comment. The goal is to help. "Free therapy from future Psychologists," Dr. Ramos would say. I had been stressing over this all week, especially after last week's case conference debacle.
To be honest, after reporting I didn't quite feel that I did very well. It wasn't because of the reporting itself, although it definitely contributed. It was more of the questioning that followed. I had classmates actually questioning my interpretation of my client's test scores, challenging the very picture of the individual I presented, and dissecting my diagnostic impression of my client. One of them even questioned my objectivity, saying that my closeness with my client clouded my judgment and made the results biased. Shouldn't my interpretations hold more ground since I was able to spend more time with the client and gather more information? It was a bit insulting, really. No, it wasn't that I couldn't answer the questions that irritated me. Hardly. I just really don't like repeating myself, and most of the questions were focused on the same thing. Obviously, my reply would be the same, emphasizing different things to suit the wording of the questions. Furthermore, the root of the questioning seemed to lie in the fact that my hypotheses on my client's personality did not seem to match theirs. Now, I won't claim my hypotheses as absolute truths, but what gives their hypothesis such greater validity than mine that they need to keep insisting on it, overlooking mine?
When my integrity as an examiner was questioned, I just couldn't help but feel insulted. I found absolutely no basis for the claim other than the fact that my diagnostic hypothesis did not seem match theirs, that the picture I painted of my client did not seem to match their image of him in their minds. I did concede that perhaps my report was limited to my client's more current and pressing needs rather than delving into the person's past and drawing hypotheses and conjectures from there. But if the aim is to help, and given the short period of time for interpretation and recommendations, wouldn't it be more practical to focus on immediate needs first and leave Psychoanalysis for those more capable?
I answered each question to be best of my ability, basing my answers on the information I had gathered from my client and the test results, and conceding to the obvious limitations of the study. It was all I could do.
Needless to say, I was at a bit of a loss on whether or not I actually did well. Having the very backbone of my diagnosis panned sucked the little confidence I had right out of me. Worse, I didn't know if the report would be helpful to my client anymore after my integrity was questioned. And then, Dr. Ramos stepped up to the place. She wanted to pose a question that would "...challenge [me] as a therapist." I held my breath and thought, "Okay, here she is to hammer the final nail on the coffin." She asked me what I would do and how I would react given the same situation and experiences of my client (can't disclose it). I said that I HAD experienced what my client experienced, so to some extent I understood what he might be feeling. I told her that I reacted quite the same way. What she said surprised me. She said, "Very well said." Then, she turned to the class and said, "I want everyone to take note of what Kenny did. He did something very beautiful." She said that I was able to draw from my own experience and find a point of resonance with my client, allowing me to better understand what he must have been going through. She continued by saying that, in therapy, what truly matters is not how much knowledge you have on the theories, but how you can find a way to truly relate with your client. With that, I felt redeemed.
But the best part was yet to come. After class, Dr. Ramos told me that I did extremely well on my report. She commended me on my preparedness and my communication skills, saying that the presentation was done very professionally. Furthermore, she said that I defended extremely well. That, to me, was the most important thing, that amid heavy panning and even having my integrity questioned, Dr. Ramos saw me hold my own well. She even went so far as to say that my presentation could pass off "out there" as a professional case conference. It didn't seem like she was patronizing me. I can tell when people do. From the expression on her face and the tone of her voice, I really felt like she was genuinely proud of what I did. That would've been enough, really. I could look back on the experience and be proud. But here's the icing on the cake. Now, I'm not sure how close to verbatim this is. Dr. Ramos said, "If I find similar cases, maybe I could refer them to you."
KABOOM! Huzzah bitch!
That was it for me. I didn't want to show it, but inside I was jumping up and down with pride and joy. I didn't even know what to say, so I stammered through my "Thank you, ma'am." I was just so damn proud. -sniff-
World of Psychology, I'm well on my way to making a name for myself on your face! |
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