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Knight of the Woeful Countenance
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| Broken, Beat, & Scarred |
[Jun. 14th, 2009|01:44 am] |
| [ | Feeling... |
| |  excited | ] |
| [ | The music in my mind... |
| | Metallica - Broken, Beat, & Scarred | ] |
WHAT DON'T KILL YOU MAKE YOU MORE STRONG!
What they fail to say is just how much one person can go through before wanting to die. HAeahehahEHHaHAHAEHEHaHA!
Two weeks into my Grad Assistant job and already my body is falling apart. My neck is stiff, my feet are exhausted to the point of fragility, and I have this semi-permanent cramp from my left butt-cheek down to my quad muscles that only really hurts when I switch from a standing to a sitting position (and vice versa). I can literally feel my body deteriorating, the result of which is increased irritability.
Hell, not even the Saisaki buffet dinner with Chinky, Mondy, Jen, and Melissa could replenish my body's lost energy. The company was great. The conversation, even better. The laglagan was unforgettable! HaHEhahEHahahehAHEHAhehA!
Still, my body remained exhausted.
I'm hoping that this is all merely a result of the big Psych Dept clean-up last Saturday, which spilled over to Monday, and, to this day, still isn't done. Lots of heavy lifting and moving boxes around, most of which belong to Fr. Bu and therefore could not be thrown away despite the contents being mostly useless junk. There were about twenty boxes in all and I had the pleasure of lifting each of them at least once during the week. GAH! I'm hoping it won't always be this physically taxing.
Furthermore, despite only having to work twenty hours per week, I was working everyday this week, giving me a total of at least 35 hours of work this week alone. Talk about above and beyond the call of duty. Talk about MAJOR STUPIDITY on my part.
THE DAWN, THE DEATH, THE FIGHT TO THE FINAL BREATH...
WHAT DON'T KILL YOU MAKE YOU MORE STRONG!
Oh, what I wouldn't give for that final breath right now... GAhHAhehAHEHAhehAHEHA!
On the bright side, despite a body overflowing with exhaustion, I was able to save some room in my mind for some excitement.
Last week, because she was going to Singapore and needed to self-quarantine upon her return, Ma'am Cara asked me if I could be the one to distribute the syllabuses for her Cognitive Psychology classes. I'd meet her three classes for the first meeting to give the syllabus and inform them that Ma'am Cara wouldn't be able to meet them for the first week. Without a second thought, I jumped at the opportunity. (What can I say, malakas si Ma'am Cara sakin! :P)
Then, this past week, Tuesday, while Ma'am Cara was reminding me about the syllabus drop-off, she jokingly asked me if I wanted to teach Chapter 1. Immediately, excitement welled up inside me, and in that instant, I again pounced on the opportunity. "Really!?" she asked, making sure if I was serious. I tried to hide the excitement and calmly answered, "Sure." "O, sige!" she replied happily. She was happy to not have to teach Chapter 1 because, let's face it, it's the most boring chapter!
Later in the day, she sent me the instructions. I would have until the 25th to discuss the syllabus and teach Chapter 1 of Cog to three sections: M-W-F 730-830am & 830-930am and T-Th 9-1030am. I start on Monday!
GAH!
I'm so excited! This is my first real taste of handling a college-level class with a college-level schedule. But at the same time, and for that same reason, I'm mortified, terrified, stupefied! For one thing, I'm beginning to doubt my own abilities. InTACT is one thing, but a full-blown college course is on a whole 'notha level! Furthermore, with less than a week to prepare, I can only prepare so much; thus, limiting my overall effectiveness. This will be a test of whether or not I can really hack it in the teaching profession - a "baptism of fire" so to speak. So, yeah, I've got something to look forward to.
Indeed, next week will be very exciting. Not only will I be working as a GA in the Psych Dept, but I'll be teaching 6 hours worth of class at the same time; not to mention the start of my own M.A. classes. My hands are literally shaking as I find ways to make Chapter 1 more interesting. The combination of exhaustion, excitement, and fear, I suppose.
YOU RISE, YOU FALL, YOU'RE DOWN, THEN YOU RISE AGAIN...
WHAT DON'T KILL YOU MAKE YOU MORE STRONG! |
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| Comments: |
I sooo know how you feel. I start teaching this tuesday. Much luck to both of us! :-) | |
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