| Before I let you go... |
[Jul. 8th, 2008|07:57 pm] |
| [ | Feeling... |
| |  alone | ] |
| [ | The music in my mind... |
| | Naruto OST - Grief and Sorrow | ] |
I want to say "I love you..."
Today, I said goodbye to everything good about me...
Things will go downhill from here.
With one last hug, it was goodbye. And it hurt so much to see him being taken away.
I can still hear his footsteps and his whispered clucks. The difference is when I turn to look for him, he's not there.
Grief and Sorrow
(For those one Multiply who can't see the video, click the link.)
EDIT (12:21am): I can't even stay in my room!!! I see the empty chair where Grimace should be perched, sleeping. I reach for the spot where I know he should be. I expect to hear his annoyed, extended cluck. Then he'd crow a few times, waking all the other roosters in the area. They'd contend for a few minutes. And then he'd pick at his feathers before going back to sleep. I look to see that there's no chicken shit on the chair, but I can still smell it. It's there, a strong, warm air hanging in my room. I want to pick him up and put him on my chest, but I grope at shadows. He'd lie for a few minutes, his neck outstretched so his head would be beside mine. I'd hear him smacking his tongue inside his mouth. Soon, he'd get up again and take his proper place on the backrest of my chair and fall back into sleep.
There will be none of that tonight. Not anymore. Not for me.
(But for that neighbor, 3am will hold special meaning. Metal will blast forth from my speakers at full volume and drive him to the brink of insanity. You'll pay motherfucker.)
Such is the pattern of my life. God gives me something to love and takes it away so abruptly. Sure, nothing lasts, but in my life, things are taken away long before they should be, long before death or destruction comes. What's the point of giving myself to anything anymore? I'm having a hard time seeing it now. Something I believe so strongly in...is kicking me in the face.
The memory is so strong. I don't know if I can go to my room just yet. It was as much Grimace's room as it was mine. And it was as if he knew he was leaving today. He didn't want to leave the room. He just wanted to lie there on my bed. When I took him downstairs to wait for Minda, he grew restless. He'd stretch and flap his wings, but he wouldn't crow. He was just restless.
Fuck... |
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
quixotic_eyes's journal
