| If my heart... |
[Jul. 9th, 2008|09:01 pm] |
| [ | Feeling... |
| |  alone | ] |
| [ | The music in my mind... |
| | Megadeth - A Tout Le Monde | ] |
..were still alive,
I know it would surely break...
"When sorrows come, then come not single spies, but in battalions."
I hope Minda never shows her face here again because, if she does, I'm going to kick it. I'm going to stomp it into the ground until I can scrape what's left of it off my shoes on the curb.
I mean, shit... It's only been ONE NIGHT! On night and already Grimace is too much of an inconvenience for them. He's so much of an inconvenience, in fact, that they have to send him to the province, miles away. Here I was thinking I could visit him. Here I was hoping he wouldn't forget me between visits. AND NOW... Now I'll never see him again. I won't know if he's being taken care of. I won't know if he's happy. I won't even know if he's alive. I won't ever be able to hold him again, to hear him again, to be bitten by him again.
What's worse, no one understands how I feel. Not a single person. I was thinking some people, maybe one or two, would understand, that maybe they could reassure me and comfort me. But they don't. They keep reminding me of the rules and nothing else. In fact, sila pa yung mag kapal ng mukhang magalit sakin. They feel as though they're the only ones in the world who have the right to ever be pissed. They're probably so insecure that when other people get pissed, they get all defensive and feel the need to be pissed, too. Stupid stupid, pretentious, insecure people. For one thing, I don't need to be reminded of the rules. I don't need to be talked down to and I definitely do not need to be shoulder all your stupid, petty frustrations. I don't need to be the scapegoat for your insecurities and your need to be pissed.
I need someone to understand how hard it is for me right now. I need someone who can say how hard it is for them, too, because they understand how I feel. I need someone with genuine compassion. I've not found anyone who does. Not one of them. Not even from the people who should understand.
If that's what I have to look forward to in my life, if it's just the world taking things away and no one being on my side, then what's the point?
Everything good in me is fading away... It won't be long before I won't care if I go to prison or not. And then there'll be hell to pay.
Angry Again |
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